I could if you hadn\u2019t turned on the light and shut off my stereo. Check it out, y\u2019all. Everyone who was invited is here. Daddy Bender, we\u2019re hungry. No. We\u2019re on the top.<\/p>\n
I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though! Yeah, and if you were the pope they\u2019d be all, \u201cStraighten your pope hat.\u201d And \u201cPut on your good vestments.\u201d Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? \u2026To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? \u2026To shreds, you say.<\/p>\n
Is that a cooking show? Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography. For example, if you killed your grandfather, you\u2019d cease to exist! When the lights go out, it\u2019s nobody\u2019s business what goes on between two consenting adults.<\/p>\n
I love you, buddy! Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn\u2019t you just get me the death penalty? And I\u2019d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. I found what I need. And it\u2019s not friends, it\u2019s things.<\/p>\n
I love you, buddy! For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. Shut up and get to the point! No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don\u2019t own!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I could if you hadn\u2019t turned on the light and shut off my stereo. Check it out, y\u2019all. Everyone who was invited is here. Daddy Bender, we\u2019re hungry. No. We\u2019re… <\/p>\n